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: EEEAAEEypurbKRiqUD
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June 27 2005 -- Excitement in a bottle?
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So here we are on a rainy Monday with nothing to do. It's hot and humid and I am ready for a nap. So what should I do while I am waiting to fall asleep? Oh I know, lets review something so exciting that I will be sure to wake back up and feel alive.
Colgate MaxFresh Whitening Cool Mint Toothpaste with Breath Strips.
Just take a look at that container with its sleek shape and curves. Just look at the color of the toothpaste, a cool blue gel. But that's not the exciting part, no sir. If that was all that was there then I doubt I would have taken a second look in the store. Nope, the real excitement lies in those little breath strips you see floating around in there. OOOOOOO. Have you ever seen toothpaste like that before? I bet you haven’t! It's like taking some Listerine Pocket Strips, cutting them up, mixing them up with some toothpaste gel and sticking it in a bottle. The concept is mind numbing. How did Colgate come up with this idea? How did they get that stuff suspended in there? The world may never know.
So lets try this stuff out. Do those breath strips really do anything? I guess I need to go and get one to find out.
 So there it is, a marvelous breath strip. The back of the container says something along the lines of "Do not swallow" but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of me getting you an exciting review. I gobbled down the goo (hmm, how many times have I said that one, Daddy?) and got a strip out all on its own. Not really that impressive looking once you strip everything away from it. It just sits there not knowing what to do with itself. Poor little thing. I said to myself, let's try it out, and I did, and I was let down. It really didn’t taste like anything. The toothpaste I had right before it was pretty generic too, now that I think about it. Actually, this whole thing is pretty generic. I'm not saying it's bad, but I am saying that it in no way sets itself apart from any other toothpaste out there. Even the fluoride ion stuff that is the active ingredient in toothpaste is the same as everything else in my cabinet.
You know, I think I have been had. They conned me into buying something with slick marketing and a fancy looking product. Damn. I fell right into their trap. If you remember the start of this review I was hoping for this thing to jumpstart my night and get my excited about life. A brand new concept in toothpaste was going to give me a brand new lease on life and I was going to finish out my night with such a level of excitement that I would be unable to sleep. All I am left with now is a minty flavor in my mouth and the realization that I am just another consumer whore throwing himself to anything that has the words new on it.
Oh well. 2.5 cheeses. Nothing too good, nothing too bad. Get it if you want something fancy in your bathroom cabinet to show off to other people. But if toothpaste is your idea of showing off, well, um, I think we have some other issues we need to work on. As for me waking up, meh, forget it. I am going to go eat and then go to bed.
 
Posted by LordJezo
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