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: EEEAyVZlukxbYMnRbB
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June 24 2005 -- PatBoyX is a sweaty mess.
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Well hello there. How is your night going? Mine is pretty boring, I was just laying in my bed staring at the ceiling for I had nothing better to do. Too tired to play video games, too lazy to watch anime, too uninterested to take the effort in putting in a 24 dvd and watching an episode of that. But then came a phone call from one of 78west’s reviewers PatBoyX,which made me feel better about things as it seems he is stuck on a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop with an overheated car. After hearing that I thought to myself "Well, at least I am not that guy" and got myself out of bed and decided to write some sort of review about a product that is normally about as attractive as a hot and sweaty PatBoyX in the summer's heat.
 Quaker Oatmeal Banana Walnut Oatmeal. But look, that's just not any kind of oatmeal, no ma'am, this is top quality SUPREME oatmeal. There is even a little seal right there on the box, "Heartier oatmeal, premium fruits and nuts". Now I don't know about you but I know that I am not a big fan of your run of the mill microwave oatmeal. It always ends up being watery and mushy, no real substance. I do eat it quite a lot but I always feel like something is missing. You just sort of poke at it and watch it slop around in your bowl. Much like PatBoyX sweating in a car on a day like today. It's not attractive and if you had any other options you would take it, but unfortunately its all you have so you just sit down with it and eat. You end up feeling empty inside and wonder why you bothered, much like PatBoyX's girlfriend tonight. Instead of going to a concert with a nice clean man she is instead left to go alone only to come home to a drunken hairy mess at her doorstep. How ever will she explain that one to her parents?
Man, all this talk about oatmeal is getting me depressed. But much like PatBoyX showering up and making himself presentable for public viewing (which doesn’t happen too often) Quaker Oats has taken their normally bland oatmeal, given it a nice firm body, added in some real walnuts, and given it a title of supreme. But does it hold up to the promises we see on the box? Actually, yes it does. Sadly I did not find this out on my first attempt of trying this stuff. On the first morning I went to have some, a Monday at about 5:45AM I read the instructions wrong and instead of putting a half a cup of water in I dumped in a whole cup. Oops. I tried to drain off some of the extra water thinking that I would be able to salvage the bowl. Well, I got the excess water out but with it went all of the brown sugar that came with it. After a minute in the microwave I was left with a tasteless thick mush of oatmeal. I ate it anyway but I wasn’t very happy. The next morning at about the same time I remembered my mistake and managed to correctly make this stuff. I must stink if making oatmeal is a hard task. But it wasn’t even 6 in the morning yet so I think I am allowed some leeway on suckage.
So how does it taste? Well if a sweat covered smelling PatBoyX is regular watery microwave oatmeal, then this stuff is friggen Fabio. It's thick, it has lots of flavor, and I am sure it will keep you regular with all it's fiber-ry goodness. After having it I think it will be hard to go back to your run of the mill oatmeal. Looks like I got a taste of the good stuff and I be wanting to stay around. Unfortunately I am a poor guy so I will be back to the cheap Shop-Rite brand stuff in a week or so, but for not I can pretend like I am one of the elite. Well, you know, one of the elite that eat microwavable oatmeal.
4 cheeses.
PatBoyX just called again. Turns out he is going to try to get to that concert after all. Perhaps, maybe just a little bit, he is, in fact, supreme himself tonight.
Posted by LordJezo
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