Part IV: Drink Up, Everyone Else Is.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I'm going to bite the bullet and just post
something about drinking. I was going to attempt to write an intelligent and
in-depth review of my recent visit to the newly re-opened Museum of Modern Art
in New York City. It would have been harsh on the pretentious idiots that I
found myself surrounded with, the high price of tickets (unless you have a
Culture Card - thank you, Lord Jezo), the rumblings of "Never heard of this guy
before" while people brushed passed works of art and would have culminated in a
touching revelation on the part of the narrator that the sort of self-indulgent,
masturbatory excursion is made completely worth it because I got to watch a very
excited father explain to an equally as excited toddler why the hell we should
give a damn about "The Starry Night."

But I'm tired and there are cats fighting on either side of me. Instead, I'll
take the easy way out: BEER! Lord Jezo would never review beer on this day in
celebration because he is, in fact, a Protestant:

The Beer being offered up is the New Jersey produced Flying Fish porter. Its
cheap, has a bit of a bitter bite and it works, meaning it will get you drunk.
If the above three things do not suit what you are looking for in a beer, you
should probably go ahead and not drink beer from the Pine Barrens...may I
suggest an area more moor-y? Apart from having the absolute kitsch value of have
beer around your house that was brewed in the southern part of what is
considered the funniest state in the union (funny like "my joke needs a
location" funny, not  "earnest people from Delaware" funny) there really
isn't all that much going for it. Sort of like this review: half-assed Jersey
ramblings, only in the form of hops and whatnot.

3 out of 5 passed out rubes with "Balls" written on their faces.