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: EEEFkAApZlNEddAAIb
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April 12 2005 -- Not quite a tropical jam..
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Well here I am writing an emergency review because it seems the good folks over at The Impulsive Buy are catching up on us with their soda reviews and by catching up I mean four months behind us. But hey, competition just makes for a better everything. I heard about this next product a couple hours ago (okay, a day or something ago but it was brought back to my attention a couple hours ago) by none other the 78west's own Archebaldo
Sprite Remix aruba jam. Uncapitalized because that just might be as hip as using a z in place of an s.
I hope this is better then the last Sprite Remix flavor these guys came out with, but then again with that last pile of garbage I thought to myself "Hey, even sparkling water should be better then this."
So I bought myself a bottle today at the local Shop Rite in between watching the hostage situation / fbi-swat team-state police-criminal in a car stand off going down a mile away from my house (I could here the helicopters outside my window) and well, in between watching that and then coming home and watching more of that. It just ended a couple minutes ago in a less then exciting walk calmly over to the car and take the guy slowly out. No exciting anything like what goes on in the movies.
So back to the soda. It has the same packaging as the other Remix's so there is not much to talk about there. The color of the soda is the plain old clear Sprite color that every other Sprite has so not much to talk about there either.
So lets get to the most exciting part of trying any new food product, the taste test! But first lets go into what aruba jam could actually mean. For that lets go to our resident literature master PatBoyX.
Lord Jezo: So, Mr. X, if I may call you that, what does aruba jam mean to you?
PatBoyX:im guessing the name is being used to elicit two responses based on pre-programmed beliefs. (roadhouse, anyone?) 1. that aruba is awesome and sunny. a happy place to find oneself...a place free of care and worries...the sort of plaec where girls respond to simple acts of kindness by taking off their clothes (and other acts of wildness). the sort of place that you would vacation if you werent a slovenly simp reading a website about new product reviews. 2. the jamming is super-hip. it probably hasnt been since The Dead stop touring (or should have stopped touring) and the first time anyone heard a Phish song sober. jamming is something that musicians like to get together and do when they dont know how to get together and actually play something that resembles a song. it is also the sort of thing that slick haxorz in movies do to all sorts of things. the best part about using this word to promote your product is that middle america will never be offended by it since jazz is no longer popular and/or associated it with black people.
Lord Jezo: That's pretty deep, Mr. X. Do you think that the Coca Cola company can deliver on that with this new soda of theirs?
PatBoyX: i seriously doubt that any women will be getting naked due to you or anyone else drinking it. unless, of course, you slip them something. the chances of you getting high and thinking that a bunch of unwashed folks playing a vacuum is somehow music has a much more likely chance of happening. but only if you drink about 3 gallons of the stuff in a 1-2 hour period. the chance of it working for coke will probably not depend on the name, because somehow products with stupid names like "Nads" and "iPod" seem to be doing so well. either way, i dont really care. coke aint going nowhere and i got stock.
Lord Jezo: Well thank you kind sir. I hope you have a good day and that we can talk about such matters again one day.
PatBoyX: die.
He sure is one happy guy.
Well, lets actually try it out and see what it tastes like.
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Umm, okay, maybe there is too much ice in that glass. Lets try dumping the ice out and trying again.
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Well it smells nice, I'll give it that. What does it smell like? Umm, nice? Is that a smell? I am trying hard here to come up with something but I really do not know, so for now I am just going to say it smells like nice.
So how about the taste? Well that goes right along with the smell. It is nice, it's not bad, just sort of nice. Not really putting me much in a aruba jam kind of mood though, putting me more in a "why am I drinking this" kind of mood. It really has no flavor beyond that nice smell.
I am on my third half glass now. Second with out ice. There is just nothing there. No strong flavor, no after taste, just sort of a fleeting moment of nice when you sip on it. Personally it reminds me of drinking in college when I used to put citrus flavored Skyy in Sprite. Maybe this drink just brings back a memory to a person because I know it really has no flavor.
Two cheeses. Even though it smells nice and brought back college day memories, it just has no flavor, and that's what matters most.
Posted by LordJezo
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