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April 11 2005 -- Girly man mouthwash
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The night started off good, four guys sitting around stuffing their faces with 40 or so pieces of sushi each and talking about the good old days. Everyone was happy and the mood was good. But after that much sushi you start to smell like fish and get a film of soy sauce and wasabi on your teeth. Time to get a cleanin'. My mouth felt like it had been abused so I felt it best to pick up some mouthwash and swish away the pain.
Oh how lucky I was to just happen upon Crest’s new mouthwash, Pro-Health Rinse. With that fancy wrapper, slick bottle shape, and the word “NEW” on it, how was I to resist? I bought it, took it home, and went right to the bathroom (just as any good date should). I was going to post a link to that gum in the lower right corner of that image but thankfully it was lost in the great server crash so all my hard work has been thrown out and lost forever. Bah.
 Looking at the bottle I noticed that it said “ALCHOLOL FREE”. What fun could that be? Crest seems to be marketing their product in the opposite manner that Listerine is done. Those folks have people struggling to keep it in their mouths for more then 30 seconds. They show families running away in fear when the mother mentions the name Listerine. Now that’s a mouthwash! I would imagine that Crest will show this stuff as a more family friendly option, one that is nice and easy to use. Thumbs down to that. Stuff that doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger. Listerine can toughen up a man, this stuff would make him weak.
But enough of that, how does it actually taste and feel? If you have ever been to the dentist and been told to wash with that concentrated blue stuff they keep in the cup (that you mix with water) then you know what this stuff is like. That’s really the best way to describe it. It’s a bit minty and doesn’t sting at all. Listerine for girly men. It doesn’t leave you with that same super-clean-everything-in-your-mouth-has-been-victim-of-a-mint-genocide that Listerine does, actually, I didn’t really feel that much different at all after I spit this stuff out. Oh well. I’ll keep using it since the bottle says it works and we all know that makes it true. I also noticed the absence of the ADA symbol found on Listerine and other toothpastes as well, I wonder why… Oh, and it also leaves a blue color on your tongue
I want to give this stuff 2.5 cheeses because it really did nothing for me but I can see the use for it for people who are too sensitive (weak) to use Listerine, so three it is. Recommendations? Once again, only if you don’t like Listerine would I tell you to give this a try, and if you don’t like Listerine and want a mouthwash this may be the product for you.
Even an empty bottle of Listerine champions over Crest in my bathroom.
Posted by LordJezo
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