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: EEEkkZVyFuFTgikepz
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March 31 2005 -- A review straight out tha' hood.
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Well it's about that time for a brand NEW! review of something completely stupid and useless, brought to us this time by those midgets over at Keebler, ugh I mean Elves. I bring to you...GRIPZ.
That's right another product with the letter Z at the end sure to please 13 year old boyz and Lord Jezo, alike. So the appealing thing about the name Gripz is that it reminds me of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, which is completely Gangsta like myself. In the game, which emulates life in the hood in the Los Angeles / Compton Area in the early 90's, the main character Carl Johnson, or as his homies call him "CJ", does many bad things throughout the game. One of them includes beating the crap out of someone with his hands or a weapon until that person is a bloody corpse and then stealing their money. When he steals their money occasionally he'll say, "Gimme that grip!" Which brings us to this awesome product name. I feel so f'in gangsta when I eat this, I just wanna go out and shoot people and do other cool stuff like that. But you say, well Mr. Archebaldo, I'm just a white guy from the suburbs of New Jersey, I don't know what it's like to be gangsta like you, and frankly I have no desire to be a gangsta, so what does this food actually taste like and what the hell is a Gripz? Ok ok, you weak cracka ass cracka, I'll tell you what this is,its a "Mighty Tiny Chocolate Chip Cookie" in a "Rip'N'Tip Pack".
When I first saw the Rip'N'Tip thing I was like what the hell is that! I'm mad gangsta son and I've never even heard of that. But I figured it out once I opened the package. Basically, you "Rip" the side of the bag open and then you "Tip" them little cookies into your hand or directly into your mouf. Not gangsta whatsoever. When you do tip these things out, look at all the mess they make. I would say about 1/10 of the bag is crumbs, so be prepared for a mess.
I've had mini cookies before in my time and I'm pretty sure they were called Dots and they tasted better than this. Not sure where to find them anymore because it was quite a long time ago when I had them, but I'm 99% sure they existed. Anyways, these are supposed to be miniature versions of Chips Deluxe cookies. I'm not really sure what Chips Deluxe cookie is but I know what a preservative laced cookie tastes like and this was not nearly as good. If you can see by the packaging it looks like each mini cookie has multiple chips in it. This is not so. There is about one mini chip per every 7 mini cookie. Not cool man...not cool at all. Completely false advertising. So being that there aren't chips in each one, the cookies without chips don't taste all that great, not bad, but nothing special.
I say stick w/ a normal sized cookie if you want a normal cookie taste. If you want stupid messy mini cookies sans chips then get this crap. 3 cheeses cause they aren't terrible and they make me even more gangsta than I already am.
Posted by Archebaldo
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