April 28 2005 -- Silly gentiles..Crispy-O's are for Jews.

It's that time of the year where I hang up my Kangol hat and put on my yarmulke . That's right folks it's...PASSOVER! For a eight days I can't eat leavened breads and a whole bunch of other stuff that tastes good and doesn't turn my waste into concrete. This year I decided to try out a Kosher for Passover cereal to see if it helps the holiday go by quicker. Let's start out with the box art for this lovely cereal that is titled Frosted Crispy-O's.



The picture doesn't make the cereal look too bad and the title of the product and what it looks like gives me decent memories of frosted Cheerios, but I know better than that. Being that this cereal is Kosher for Passover, that means that they most likely used Matzah meal (basically just crushed matzah) which the side of the box confirmed. If any of you have ever had Matzah or any Matzah meal based product, other than Matzah balls (since those are always delicious), you know that it's a very dry taste almost reminiscent of sawdust, so you would understand my reason to be scared of this cereal. Another thing the side of the box says is that they are the original "O" shaped cereal. WOW, that's a hardcore statement right there. So it seems like they are saying that Cheerios ripped them off on their insanely inventive use of a circle with a hole in it for the shape of breakfast food. I find that hard to believe and they don't provide any proof of that. I'm also pretty sure this wasn't made while the Jews were escaping from Egypt. Honestly I don't care either way, the shape of this cereal is the last thing that matters to me, although it's completely mind blowing that someone beat Cheerios to it.

On to the tasting. I pour my bowl of Crispy-O's and take a sniff. Not bad...sugary, which is always a good sign. I taste one without milk, it's decent, I can handle this flavor. I wouldn't say its anywhere near as good as a frosted Cheerio but I'll make due for the week. Now is the true test, I pour my milk into the bowl. You don't notice this when the Crispy-O's are sitting in the milk but they are actually melting! That's right, after about 10 seconds in there they become slightly soft and mushy only to get worse the longer they are in there. They should call this sugared slop: Soggy-O's. When I put a spoonful of this melted cereal in my mouth it's not a bad taste but I think I could have put some sugar on a piece of Matzah and dipped it in milk and almost enjoyed it as much (which is very little). The other problem with this cereal is a problem I've experienced with other cereals, although not nearly as bad as this one. It doesn't last! By that I mean, that it doesn't satisfy my hunger very long. I could have a bowl of this and I'll be starving in two hours and not just normal starving; starving like, holy f why am I so f'in hungry I need to eat now or I'm going to collapse and die of starvation. So it pretty much makes me hungrier than before I ate it. Interesting stuff. This cereal just earned itself a minus half cheese. How, you ask? I have it on my desk here and I just realized that when I turned the box on its side to read it, that crap at the bottom of the cereal came out of the bottom of the box (after some investigation I found that there was a hole at the bottom of the bag in the box, AWESOME!) and is now all up in my keyboard. I doubt any bugs wanna eat this so I probably have nothing to worry about, but a minus half cheese nonetheless. Bottom line, this cereal is ok for Passover and I like sugar so that will help it out when it comes time to hand out the cheeses.

This cereal in a world where other cereals exist: 1.75 cheeses.
This cereal to help me make it through Passover without having to make Matzah Brie every morning or eating PB&J on Matzah: 3 cheeses (please note, this would have been 3.5 cheeses had the cereal not infiltrated my keyboard)

Posted by Archebaldo