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: EEklyVEupVLmlSyBHf
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October 6 2005 -- More darkness.
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THE MESSAGE WHORE IS GOING ON VACATION STARTING, UM, NOW. WE (I) WILL RETURN SOMETIME AROUND THE 17TH. UNLESS PATBOYX STEPS UP TO THE PLATE AND TAKES OVER NEXT WEEK DONT EXPECT MUCH TO GO ON UNTIL THEN. IN THE MEAN TIME GO BUG MARVO
Satan is still among us in this month of October. As proved by the review before this one he exists in our children's cereal bowls in the form of marshmallows under the guise of a scary fun treat. He didn't stop there. Now he's showing up in the candy isles. First, some background that I shamelessly lifted from somewhere found off Google:
The colors of this Sabbat are black and orange. Black to represent the time of darkness after the death of the God (who is represented by fire and the sun) during an earlier sabbat, and the waning of light during the day. Orange represents the awaiting of the dawn during Yule (Dec. 21st to Jan. 1st) when the God is reborn.
Jack-o-lanterns originated from the custom of lighting candles for the dead to follow as they walk the earth. Treats also originated from an old custom of leaving cookies and other foods out for those relatives to enjoy as they shared this one night of feasting. The 'trick' portion of "Trick or Treat" was an invention of the Christians. The tricks were supposedly caused by the dead who didn't receive a treat of food left for them when they arrived.
So in that two paragraph thing we have a god dying and dead walking the earth. You might think that would be something we'd want to keep our children away from such things and keep them Godly, or at least keep them from not getting into dark practices such as ghosts or god killing. But alas, come October parents everywhere throw away their common sense and buy into the dark lord Satan and let their children frolic in a sugar coated hell on Earth, Halloween and nothing is immune.
Kit Kats have turned to the dark side and are now in the camp of Satan. Just look at that wrapper! It's orange, it's dark, it's evil looking! Even the individual wrappers themselves have bats on there. Why bats? Vampires! Creatures that live in the darkness and suck the blood of the living. Is that really something we want to be giving to our children? Just like the Lucky Charms was a gateway to drinking blood this is yet another way to indoctrinate our children into the dark arts.
 But hey, if they make evil taste so good why not try it out? I decided to plant these at my office place in an idol of the demon gods, a pumpkin candy bucket. In went the Kit Kats and I waited to see who would be the first to reach in and accept Satan for themselves. After only a short time an Asian manager reached in excited and pulled one out and opened it up. The orange chocolate excited him and he ate it all. He turned against God with out even knowing it, Satan's plan had worked.
This continued throughout the day, more and more people eating their way into sin and they all enjoyed it. Me, being the sell out that I am, decided to go for one myself, and you know what? It was good. The evil was totally masked in the flavor of an original Kit Kat. Besides for the color there was no difference at all, and that is a good thing. Kit Kats have been around for a long time and there is a reason for that, they are good.
Later on that night I gave one to my girlfriend. Since I was already headed down the dark path I figured I might as well take her with me. Unwrapping the package she exclaimed "Oh! Is it really orange??" How excited! She ate it up and thought the same thing everyone else thought, it tastes just like a Kit Kat.
Just like the lucky charms it gets 4 cheeses out of 5. Not really rating this one on newnewss or originality, just that Kit Kats are really good.
Posted by LordJezo
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