This review is not going to even have a picture so if that is what you come for I suggest you turn away now. Why wont it have a picture? Little old me figured that the beverage I was buying would be prominently featured on the home page of the establishment I was going to, it’s all over the stores and the windows so of course it should be on the site. I told you there was no picture in this review, so that means there was no picture on the site. Actually, this whole review is going to stink because once again I am so apathetic to the product, it's hard to get excited and write lots of fun things about something that stinks.
Instead of a nice colorful picture to get you in the mood to try one out we are going to have theater of the mind!
(insert picture of Turtle Nut Chocolate Iced Coffee from Dunkin’ Dounuts here)
There is it. Just close your eyes and imagine a large dark object in your hand. It has a cylinder shape. It feels cold in your hand, wet with moisture. You bring it closer to your mouth and wrap your lips around the opening. You suck in, hoping to get the liquid inside. Some might spill out and dribble down your chin, but you wont let that stop you, you take as much into your mouth as you can, swallowing it all down.
Too bad that was actually better then the drink was.
What is a turtle nut? No idea. I figured it was some kind of nut and was excited to have some in my drink. Problem was there weren’t even any nuts. Heck, there wasn’t even any flavor in this thing. It tasted like cold coffee and a lump of chocolate at the bottom. Oh the joys.
So there I was, early in the morning (it was about 10:30) on a Sunday. I had driven across the grand state of New Jersey in order to get to a woman who would in turn take me on a magical Japanese journey into sight, sound, and taste. We were going to Mitsuwa and there was nothing anyone could do to stop us. Maybe no one else could stop up but my body needed caffeine and I figured a big old thing like this Turtle Nut jobber would be able to provide it. Provide it, it did, but provide me with flavor and an agreeable drinking experience? No, none of that. It tasted bland, the chocolate wasn’t mixed in evenly, and I felt used. Maybe I shouldn’t have jumped into it blindly with a large and maybe should have tested the waters with a small. That wouldn’t have been extreme and I would have felt like less of a man. I needed to make up for my short comings in other areas so the only option I could even consider would be large one.
Oh well. Bunch of wasted money. I’ll stick with Starbucks next time.
1 cheese.
Don’t bother. Mitsuwa was good, as always though. If you ever want Japanese food and are in the area it’s the best supermarket to go to.
Posted by LordJezo
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There it was, a beacon of light and hope, a thing of majesty, something that should be revered, possibly worshiped. It is a thing of truth and of clarity in the mind. It is something that cannot be lived with out and if it ever ceases to exist life on this planet will be forever changed.
What is this god-like thing, you ask? Well, there can be only one thing to fit a bill like that.
White Castle.
Oh the joys. The pleasures. White Castle can bring you closer to God Himself, bring to you to Nirvana, or if you please, Valhalla. I guess that is an actual true statement now that I think about it. Eat enough of these grease laden burgers and your arteries might just clog up and you will indeed be in the afterlife of your choosing. But enough of that blasphemy, White Castle has something new, and I was there to try it.
The new White Castle French Onion Cheeseburger. Yeah, that’s right, again with the whole French thing, but it’s White Castle so I suppose we can let it slip again. But PatBoyX did say it best when he penned those now famous words “we hate the french!111!!! OLOL!!! merica rocks!!!”
So what makes this burger special, eh? New seasonings and cheese! The burger features French onion cheese and a creamy French onion sauce "that gives this sandwich a unique flavor." The commercials also show some good looking French maids. Apparently if you eat one of these burgers everything will look French to you. Not really sure if that is too good of an idea unless you are on some kind of power trip, I mean, who would want to see everyone and everything surrendering before you with out any kind of fight? Not I!
Alas, that did not happen when I ate the burger. No French maids, no people waving white flags, just a feeling of happiness in my belly, damn you, advertising! Was it good enough to replace my old standard of the original cheeseburger? Nope. But was it good enough to warrant a purchase and a recommendation? Sure thing. This, much like the French, is a snootier fancy pants version of your run of the mill cheeseburger. It wasn’t too bad and I might pick up one or two next time I go there for my usual 10-sack, spice things up a bit.
3.5 cheeses. It was good, you should try it out sometime.
Oh man, just look at that thing. Screw the Mona Lisa. That there, that small slice of meat, that is art.
Here are some cheeses to go with it.
Posted by LordJezo
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We've gone to Otakon for the weekend.