Week of April 17, 2005

April 22 2005 -- This is America! So there I was, in our nation's capital, thinking to myself "What would be the best way for me to represent this country and all it stands for?" I thought long and hard, of the great wars, the documents that helped shape this country, our great leaders, the flag. None of these things really managed to capture the true essence of this land of ours, what I needed was something even more American then them. What did I finally come up with after my minutes of deep personal introspection?

Booze and Starbucks.




Yes ma'am, Starbucks is what this country is all about. Take something as simple as coffee, give it a fancy logo and a huge corporation backing it, raise the price to double or triple what it should be, crush and destroy all small competitors owned by people who are just trying to make a decent living, and reap the benefits of being on every street corner in NYC.

Having cornered the high end coffee market Starbucks is now set to carve a slot out for itself in the liquor market with Starbucks' new Coffee Liquor. Having a fancy pants website this liquor is sure to be a hit in every yuppie's condominium, if not for flavor then for name alone. I am most certain you will find this sleek black bottle in the liquor cabinets of many people in the months to come. Starbucks is a powerful name and people will flock to it.

But is it any good? Lets crack the bottle open and find out.



Having a nice coffee smell this liqueur does have a first impression of being quite good, but smell means nothing if it tastes bad.

I tried this stuff out three different ways, straight, in coffee, and in a White Russian.

Straight: tastes like coffee but has the pinch of alcohol. I think putting it over ice and letting the ice melt a bit to dilute it would make this a nice drink to sip on when discussing emo issues.

In coffee: pretty decent. That pinch was still there but that was because I was drinking the coffee black. Adding in milk and some sugar was nice. Would be good if you need to wire yourself up before going out to dance with a tall girl with a southern accent all night.

White Russian: Perfect for this sort of drink. It made me so excited I spilled it all over Archebaldo's futon. When a drink makes you so excited you are spilling it all over the place, well hell, that's a good drink. If I actually knew how to make a White Russian then I bet this would be even better, might even make The Dude proud.


Archebaldo, being the classy guy that he is (sarcasm intended) decided to just take shots of this stuff. He said that it tasted pretty good so I suppose if you want to grow up to be like him then I suppose this is the way to go.

I am going to keep experimenting with this stuff so for now I give it a 3 out of 5. It's pretty good, has a nice smell, and fits in well with mixed drinks.



Anyway, the weekend is here (in a few hours). Time to find something fun to do go to the Yankees game.

Posted by LordJezo

April 20 2005 -- Not LSD


Coming off of that Crest Mouthwash review I have been in a clean mouth sort of mood. I doubt it will last any longer then this week but at least for now I can be kissibly clean (hi Cindy) if I some how manage to find someone to kiss.

Today I bring you the latest evolution in mouth cleansing products, Fresh Citrus Listerine Pocket Strips.

Looking identical except for color to the Mint Pocket Strips just about everyone has had by now the Fresh Citrus ones stand out with their burst of flavor which comes right along with the new flavor of Listerine itself designed to be easier for people to handle, and if you remember the Crest review I just did you know that I am not into all that pansy type stuff.

Taking the pack out of the first layer of cardboard you might get scared and yell out "OH TEH NOES! HOW DO I OPEN THIS LABRYNTH OF A PACKAGE?!" Well Pfizer, in all their infinite wisdom, actually anticipated that and put some handy dandy instructions for you on the back of the thing.





Step 1) Peel back the but that is cut out.

Step 2) Push out the pack of Pocket Strips.

Wow. That was intense. Were you able to follow all that? I hope so. Otherwise you might never get to the goodness that hides within the wrapper and you will be out a buck or two and have nothing to show for it.

Now that we are past that huge road block (which might be a weed out to keep the dumb folks away from these things) we are ready to try them out.

Ahh, a strip of dissolving goodness. Oh how it reminds me of the good old days of doing LSD and going on crazy trips where you end up talking to a hot dog about it's wife and 6 kids (it was a Mexican hot dog). But instead of being able to hear colors and see sound Pfizer decided that instead the strips of 2005 will clean your mouth and give you a nice fresh feeling. But do they actually do that? Lets find out. -tasting- Hmm, that tasted like oil. I suppose I should go wash my hands since I was out changing the oil in my car a little while ago. -washing hands- Okay, lets try that again, shall we?

The dissolve just as quickly as the original ones, but that’s no surprise since they are the same exact thing. The state is citrus-y, but not in a fresh fruit sort of way, more like a medicine sort of thing, but that is to be expected, these are not being marketed as a candy or a treat but more like a health care product. Compared to the liquid citrus Listerine these are actually better. The liquid tastes like citrus vodka, these are a step up.

Recommendation? Sure, if you like citrus flavored stuff and like the Pocket Strip things then you'll like these. 3 cheeses out of 5, the original flavor gets 4 because I like them better, but like I said, these are not bad. Give them a shot if you are in the mood for a change from the mint flavor.



Now I am off to go kiss someone.



Posted by LordJezo

April 17 2005 -- Can You Eat Light? Can you eat light?

Well can you? Have you even ever considered being able to eat light? That question was posed to me last night during dinner when the host place the following piece of paper on my plate.






A few seconds later the lights were turned off and in front of me was placed Jose Andres' interpretation of what that statement might mean. a light bulb of flavor. What did it look like? Well I think this movie will do a good job of explaining that.

The Light Bulb of Flavor

Last night I had the chance to eat at Cafe Atlantico's ultra avant-garde eatery minibar and it was unlike anything you or I have ever had before and doubt ever will have again, and by you I actually mean whoever is reading this, because it really is unlike anything else out there.

The meal was slated to begin at 8:30 but seating started about ten minutes later. The six of us lucky enough to be able to experience the minibar were brought upstairs and shown to our seats. Seating six people at a time, twice a night, the minibar is something that you just can't walk in and expect to sit down at, reservations are required months in advance and if you are a food buff they are well worth it. Actually, if you are a food buff you might not even be able to handle this place. If you like your food to be able to rival a Broadway show in production value (and cost as much to sit in the front row of that show) then this place will amaze you in taste, touch, smell, and sight, and since my companion for the evening had Poprocks as part of his dinner, it may just amaze your hearing as well. Sitting on a stool at what could pass to be a sushi bar for six people you are given dishes over the course of the nearly three hour long meal that will push you to the limits of what is possible to be done with food. Foie Gras cappuccino? No problem. Salmon sushi the size of the nail on my pinky finger wrapped in pineapple instead of nori? Sure. Watermelon flavored air? Yup. A Mojito served in a glass? Not here my friend, instead you will find it served to you in a spritzer.

The whole experience takes about two and a half hours and covers almost the entire range of what one human can eat during one sitting. Thirty five miniature dishes (hence the name) take the participant from a blown sugar bulb of light to foie gras surrounded by cotton candy to pork rinds imported from Ecuador. The two chefs were incredibly knowledgeable and even when I made a remark about how peanut butter and jelly is more my speed they named some restaurant in Chicago that does a "very advanced peanut butter and jelly". They were able to answer every question about every dish and were very eager to explain everything about what I was eating.

I guess the best way to describe all of this would be for you to try it yourself if you ever find yourself in Washington, DC and wanting a meal like this, but until I find out a way to let you do that over the net here are some pictures.


"Organized Caesar Salad" - think of it as Caesar salad sushi.



"Cotton Candy Foie Gras" - pretty much explains it all. Cotton candy with a yummy duck liver filling.


"Lobster Americana" - a small piece of lobster with a syringe of sorts filled with the natural juices of the lobster. You put the lobster in your mouth and squeeze down on the injector to fill your mouth with the extra flavors as you eat.



A look at what was in the lobster in that last picture.


"Philly Cheese Steak" - an intrepretation of the classic Philly cheese steak done with Kobe Beef over mushrooms and a hard pastry shell filled with cheese.


"Deconstructed Glass of White Wine" - Twelve flavors layered over a citrus gelatin spritzed with white wine.


"Japanese Baby Peaches with Yogurt" - Three Japanese baby peaches over a yogurt and olive oil bed.

It was an experience that's worth having at least once. A dozen cheeses. This isnt even something I can put on a scale because there is just nothing else to compare to it. You shouldn't even think of this as a normal meal. Think of it more as a show, an off Broadway play except instead of sitting back and watching you are actually a part of it. You are a performer as much an observer. That being said I would not recommend this to everyone. Only go if you are open to just about anything and will try anything once. Would most people even enjoy this meal? No, I don't really think so, but if you are open to it you will be amazed.



Here are the rest of the pictures from the meal. I didn't take pictures of everything but most are there. If you wonder what something is just ask and I will do my best to try to remember.

Posted by LordJezo