Total has come out with a few new kinds of cereal. One of them with vanilla, one of them with some honey nut stuff, and the one I bought, with strawberries. Why the one with strawberries? Because it's the most feminine of course. Being that I have a few homosexual friends, like Jason and Marc, I have always tried to keep up my feminine side. With breakfast it always came from eating Special K with Berries. That cereal, if you have ever had it or seen it, is a cereal marketed towards women. The box always features women's health tips, things about women losing weight, and is in a nice pink box. I'd take a bowl of it, turn on Lifetime, and sit back while I enjoyed my bowl of goodness and a good rape / revenge flick on every queen's favorite station.
But I could only put up with the lifestyle of Jason for so long (I leave out Marc since he at least tries to mask himself with women, Jason hasn't gone near one in years now). I decided I had to get myself a cereal at least a little more manly. Browsing the supermarket isle I saw things that could make me a man again. Things like Wheeties and plain old oatmeal. Things that don't taste good but are good for my manly body. I didn't want to stray too far from my original food, though, I needed something that yelled out "YES, I AM A MAN BUT NOT AFRAID TO BE A BOI!", and I found that with this cereal, Total with Strawberries.
Combining the goodness of Total cereal, the whole 100% daily rda of a whole bunch of vitamins and minerals, with a hint of feminine fruit, this cereal will apeal to straights and queers alike. At long last the sexual groups can sit side by side and not worry about what the other is stuffing in their face at the kitchen table. They can enjoy conversations over what they each think of the cereal and enter a new world of freedom and happiness. Ahh Jason. This review is dedicated to you. Keep standing tall and gay. You'll find a boyfriend one day. Until then just keep that warrior of yours in your pants, keep those t-cell counts high, and keep your eyes open for Mr. Right.
4 out of 5 cheeses. Takes the concept of Special K with berries but adds in the whole "Maybe men will eat this too" factor. Also has more flavor.
Posted by LordJezo