Week of June 26, 2005

July 1 2005 -- Painful. Pizza is like a woman. It can be soft and tender, it can be hard and cold, it comes in many different flavors and colors, and depending on where in the country you are you will get something that sort of resembles it in other places of the country but has its own local styling.

And like a woman pizza can be totally raped, turned into something that really isn’t what it is supposed to be. Damaged and abused, having issues for a long time. It's not a pretty site and no one ever wants it to happen, but sometimes it's a part of life and together we all have to work through it.



Damaged and abused is what we have here in the form of Papa John's Spicy Meatball Pizza.

Now, I am sure this is pizza by the technical sense, it's round, has tomato sauce, some cheese, and has the looks of a pizza, but it is so damaged by the intrusion of those meatballs that it is just not something that anyone would want to have around them. The pizza sent me into a drinking fury. Either that or the drinking fury sent me into a pizza rage, one of the two, but no matter, this pizza was just not very good.

Being that it is Papa Johns and not a proper pizza eatery (because NJ pizza is the best in the country, only being rivaled by NYC pizza). I knew it would be a little different but I didn't expect something so out of the ordinary that it wouldn't even taste like pizza. It was a strange mixture of sweet tomato sauce and balls of meat that were supposed to be spicy. Were they? No, not at all. They tasted like cheap meat. Oy. This really wasn’t a good pizza at all. As you can see by the picture there I tried dousing it in the Papa John's garlic sauce that comes with every pizza that you order from that place. Did it make it taste better? Yeah, it did, but that just masking the problem, it's not getting to the issues. Maybe that's why Papa does it, he gives out the garlic sauce so you can mask up a disaster and think "Hmm, this isn't too bad, maybe I will order it again sometime."

Nope. No more for us. I give it 1 smiling Jason. Should get 0 but Jason is a cutie pie and its always nice to see him smile.

Posted by LordJezo

June 28 2005 -- I dunno, but it was glorious. Hay guys!

Want to see an amazing Nintendo tv ad?



Watch it here, buddies.

Japan seems like a fun place.

More about the game here, but it's in Japanese so I doubt it will give you any more information then that amazing commercial you just watched, because you did watch it, right?

Posted by LordJezo

June 27 2005 -- Excitement in a bottle? So here we are on a rainy Monday with nothing to do. It's hot and humid and I am ready for a nap. So what should I do while I am waiting to fall asleep? Oh I know, lets review something so exciting that I will be sure to wake back up and feel alive.



Colgate MaxFresh Whitening Cool Mint Toothpaste with Breath Strips.

Just take a look at that container with its sleek shape and curves. Just look at the color of the toothpaste, a cool blue gel. But that's not the exciting part, no sir. If that was all that was there then I doubt I would have taken a second look in the store. Nope, the real excitement lies in those little breath strips you see floating around in there. OOOOOOO. Have you ever seen toothpaste like that before? I bet you haven’t! It's like taking some Listerine Pocket Strips, cutting them up, mixing them up with some toothpaste gel and sticking it in a bottle. The concept is mind numbing. How did Colgate come up with this idea? How did they get that stuff suspended in there? The world may never know.

So lets try this stuff out. Do those breath strips really do anything? I guess I need to go and get one to find out.







So there it is, a marvelous breath strip. The back of the container says something along the lines of "Do not swallow" but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of me getting you an exciting review. I gobbled down the goo (hmm, how many times have I said that one, Daddy?) and got a strip out all on its own. Not really that impressive looking once you strip everything away from it. It just sits there not knowing what to do with itself. Poor little thing. I said to myself, let's try it out, and I did, and I was let down. It really didn’t taste like anything. The toothpaste I had right before it was pretty generic too, now that I think about it. Actually, this whole thing is pretty generic. I'm not saying it's bad, but I am saying that it in no way sets itself apart from any other toothpaste out there. Even the fluoride ion stuff that is the active ingredient in toothpaste is the same as everything else in my cabinet.

You know, I think I have been had. They conned me into buying something with slick marketing and a fancy looking product. Damn. I fell right into their trap. If you remember the start of this review I was hoping for this thing to jumpstart my night and get my excited about life. A brand new concept in toothpaste was going to give me a brand new lease on life and I was going to finish out my night with such a level of excitement that I would be unable to sleep. All I am left with now is a minty flavor in my mouth and the realization that I am just another consumer whore throwing himself to anything that has the words new on it.

Oh well. 2.5 cheeses. Nothing too good, nothing too bad. Get it if you want something fancy in your bathroom cabinet to show off to other people. But if toothpaste is your idea of showing off, well, um, I think we have some other issues we need to work on. As for me waking up, meh, forget it. I am going to go eat and then go to bed.

Posted by LordJezo