So what's the best way to say this right now, oh, I know, I am currently a drunken mess and the only reason this thing has less spelling errors then normal is because Microsoft decided to build in a spell checker into Word.
So, I guess I should write about all the new stuff I had tonight since that is the purpose of this website. Reviews of new things. Where should we start?
Wait, before we start, let's not forget about Poland.. THE BEERMAN FROM POLAND!
I don't know his name but I know he is from Poland and is the local distributor for Victory Beer and always gives me good stuff every time I see him.
I guess we will start with Archebaldo's favorite beer, Layla.
It was described to me as a malty beer with the aftertaste of coffee. Were they telling the truth? I'd say so. I was quite surprised at the aftertaste, it was pleasant and not too overwhelming. If you are into coffee and also have an affinity towards beer I'd say give this one a try. If you are Jewish you pretty much have to try it out.
Next up lets go for something not too good.
Young's Double Chocolate Stout. Wow, was this stuff strong. If you are a dark dark dark beer fan then this is the stuff for you. It was one of the few beers that I had to dump out, not because it was bad, but because it was just way too strong for me. If you like dark chocolate beers I'd say go with Aventinus. It's a much more popular one and can be found on tap in some great German NYC bars ttat I have been to. Especially when they forget to charge you for a $12 stein of beer.
Getting away from the beer for a moment we have R.L. Buller & Son Fine Muscat wine.
Talking to the man serving this I heard "As long it is not a French wine I will drink it. The French can wash their feet with their wine as far as I am concerned." Woo. American rage! That's what I like. But how about this wine? The bottle itself was small, a typical desert wine bottle. About a pint I'd say, skinny and tall. The smell was overwhelming, even the guy serving it thought so. The taste was quite plesant though. It was a berry maple sort of thing. It would go great late at night or after a party when things are winding down. A thick wine but a nice taste, not much of an aftertaste either.
How about we cool things down now and talk about some absolute garbage
Budweiser Select. I don’t even want to talk about this stuff but it's new so I have to. Coming off the stupendous successes that was Anheuser World Select (intense sarcasm intended) Bud decided that they should go ahead and try something new again. This time it's a low carb easy to drink beer, and by beer I mean mess. This stuff was the low point of the entire night. Even the guy who was giving it out didn't respect it. What did I think? Three words Budweiser flavored water. That's it. Now you might be thinking "Hey, Budweiser tastes like water anyway". No, this is worse, or better depending on how you think about it. Imagine the lightest tasting beer you have ever had, no after taste, no bitterness, hell, no flavor. Then take away all that and you have this stuff. Sure, it's easy to drink and requires no effort on your part to down it, but what's the point? Meh. I suppose if you are a college kid who just wants to drink and not taste then this stuff is for you, but then if you are that kind of person you wont want to spend the money on this and instead drop ten bucks on a 24 pack of Coors. Total failure on Bud's part. Sorry guys.
Getting away from that mess we have our next beer, Magic Hat's seasonal brew H.I.P.A.
Have you ever had a Magic Hat beer before. Our good drunken friend from the Message Whore Forums says "Magic Hat. It's Grrrrrrrreat!" Thanks for that. HIPA was a good beer. From what I remember about tonight I kept going back for it. It got to be good if I was as drunk as I am now and still wanted more of it. The bottle and case also had a nice color scheme that kept me happy. I guess that added to it.
Sorry if this is getting less and less gooder. It's getting late and I and getting really tired.
Two quick ones here, they had the "NEW" right there on the box so I had to try them out.
JW Dundee's Pale Ale and Amber Lager. The Pale Ale was actually quite good and I would say for anyone who wanted to try out a new pale ale to give it a shot. The flavor was easy and smooth and there was no bad aftertaste. Go for it says I. How about that Amber Lager? Eh. It was okay. Nothing special, nothing really bad. Generic.
Next up we have something special, well, at least special enough to have a date in the name and that it comes from Canada.
Unibroue Edition 2005. What makes it different? 10% booze content. This is some strong stuff. By the time I got to it I really couldn’t handle or appreciate it. I took a few sips and had to sadly dump it out. I am sure it would have been good if I had been a bit more sober but it was just too much for me. What sadness. Oh well. I’d say this beer would be great for the people who love stuff like Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA or the Sam Adams extreme beers.
What's left? Let me check these pictures.
Ah, yes, saving the best for last. Sam Adams, how I love you.
Sam Adams Black Lager. Just came out about a month ago I think. It was one of my first beers of the night and one of my last. This was good stuff, but I am biased and think almost all of the Sam stuff is good. This is a dark beer as the name implies. An after dinner beer, something you would have for desert. It's the type of beer that you can sit around and enjoy. It's not the kind of beer you would want to sit around and chug, it's something to enjoy. I am not sure many people will enjoy this beer due to it being so thick. If you are a fan of beer and actually being able to taste what you are drinking (as in not that Bud Select crap from up above) I'd say go with this beer.
Anyway, it's time for me to pass out. I'll most likely be posting this review in a day or so, which means you will most likely be reading it a day or so after it was written, which is currently 1:00am on April 9th. I forget what I wrote up above so I am sure I will read over it again later. In conclusion I leave you with what I walked out of the joint with tonight. SEEYA!
Being super lazy, and eating a lot of icream in 4 days just to review them. I only felt like using my webcam to take basic pictures. Still annoyed from eating such potenially great ice creams. They will get shafted hard core to show my disgrace of wasting money on the products.
Ok. Ate this. It sucked. So I'll break down the review into several parts. 1. Ice Cream - as expected the chocolate ice cream was very creamy and very very good. So, that gets 5/5 2. Almonds - while there didnt really add any bang to buck. 3. Brownie peices- and the downfall of this ice cream. they were hard, stale like, really small, had abosolutly nothing going for it.
Overall I give it a 1/5 cause the ice cream was top notch. Little kids would sing "I scream, You scream, Dont eat this Ice Cream!"
The second ice cream redeemed Bryers a little bit. While everything was nicely mixed, the pb cubs were nothing spectacular. the peanutbutter swirls were good, but could have been better. The overall taste was decent. Peanutbutter flavor fans would like it. While not a really strong taste, it was there.
or
I would give this 3/5.. maybe thats to generous. so 2.5/5 somewhere in that range.
Over the past few years, diets have taken the nation by storm. Partially because we, as Americans, have become more concerned with our physical body and in preparation for the coming civil war and the End Times, many folks would like to get in better shape. However, this storm is raging mostly because we, as Americans, want to look good without actually breaking a sweat. Thus was born the fad diet. Actually, the fad diet has been around since the dawn of time. But the fad of being into fad diets has recently come back into fashion what with the Atkins, the South Beach and the Pure Milk diet (suggested for all people who can't experience the miracle of childbirth...Stones are a close second, I understand) I decided I might as well jump on the bandwagon about three years too late.
BLAMCO:
Amazing, no? Everybody's favorite Peanut Butter Cup now with only 1 gram sugar carbs! I don't even know what it really means, but I trust The Man enough to know I need this. I had to taste it...Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are, in my opinion, perhaps the single greatest thing handed down from God to my mouth directly. One may fool themselves into thinking that a small child came up to them with a box and offered these chocolaty drops of heaven-dew in exchange for a few dollars (to help the inner city blah blah blah give me the fucking candy) but it is not so. These are illusions of Angels sent from on High to explain how such a delicacy explodes in your mouth. If it were not for the illusion of their presence on store counters, we may die of culture shock to understand that these are, in fact, God's Nuggets of Happiness. The only reason I know is because I found a FAQ on alt.binaries.reesesfromgod.
After I got done composing that filler, I decided to take the eating slow. I sniffed the candy. Sniffed about the same. Looked the same. Stuck to the sides of the brown paper wrapper the same. So I bit into it. At first I thought, "This tastes pretty much the same." How wrong I was. The initial thought must have been due to the smell...an olfactory mask used to fool those with dull tongues. Obviously, this product was the work of mere mortals. The chocolate might as well have been the remains of a week old cigar and the peanut butter had the consistency of sawdust without the taste.
I know Lord Jezo has his "everything gets one" rule...but fuck that. This gets the chunk I spit out after getting enough data to write this article.
I have been sitting on this review for a while now and decided today would be a good day to bring it out, especially because the weather is so nice. Just to give you an idea of when this review was prepared notice this next picture, I named it Tomato Over Ice.
Tomato Basil Wheat Thins, and yes, that’s ice and snow under the box. Being that it is supposed to be 70 out today I figured this email would be a good way to cool things back down.
When I bought these crackers I really wanted to love them, the flavor seemed too good to pass up. I kept them with me the whole day and decided to finally try them out on my drive home from work. An hour in the car with only my Wheat Thins to keep me company. Nothing to distract me from learning any secrets they held or to keep me away from their flavor.
Opening up the box I took a sniff (much like any food whore would do) and was quite happy with what my nose told me. Taking a few out of the box I was also happy with how much flavor seemed to be packed onto every cracker.
Just look at all that flavor goodness! What a party my mouth was about to have. So I tried one, and I was a little let down. It seemed to just not do it for me at first, but like any addict I kept on eating, and eating, finishing off half the box by the time I got home. The drive went something like this:
Work parking lot to highway on ramp: Meh, they were all right but nothing special.
Highway on ramp – lets get daring! Two at once. That’s right ladies, I am a wild man! I think this is the way to go with these things. Two at once provided my mouth with a total flavor explosion. Hot.
First highway leg of my trip home: they are good but I think the flavor is wearing out on me. Started to slow down eating.
Merge ramp from first highway to second highway – I think I will stop eating for a while.
Second highway (Rt. 78 west, this website’s namesake) – Looking down at box Man, those look good, I haven’t had one in almost 10 minutes now. Maybe I will try some again. Ooo, these really are good! Maybe I will try three at once, might be an improvement over the two at once concept. … Naa, that’s too much, two is the magic number for these things.
Exit ramp to home – these things are great!
So there it is, Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins. I would say these are a good alternative to the regular flavor. They are not a complete replacement, though, more like something you would want to have when you are in the mood for them. Regular Wheat Thins are more of an any time snack, these are targeted a bit more specifically.
Recommend? Yeah, if you like this flavor go for it, but try them two at once. I don’t think you will be let down.
For a second there I was thinking to myself "What if it isn't as fun as last year? What if the thrill is gone and I am bored with it already?"
All those feelings went right away once I opened up the seat to put the battery back in. Taking it out of the garage and turning it on I remembered why I bought a motorcycle in the first place. I was only out for a little while today, a short 15 mile ride, but all the joy of riding came back to me in that quick little time.
The 2005 motorcycle season is officially open.
And now for a picture of me trying to look like a badace on my bright green 250cc Ninja.
Figured since a bunch of people were coming here from MSN looking for them I would put a link right up top here.
The Pope is dead. The only girl I ever loved left me for another man. It's raining outside. I have no clean underwear.
How could things get any worse?
Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself and the world at large I decided to go out and make something of my day, make myself feel happy again, and that something was going to KFC to try out their new $.99 Snakcer sandwich. According to them $.99 never tasted so good, so I figured I would see if that was the truth.
There they are. Both kinds of KFC Snackers, the regular and the honey bbq, sitting in the lap of some cute thing I picked up on the side of the road. I see three things to eat in that picture, boy is this my lucky day!
First up we have the regular snacker.
It's a tiny little thing. Piece of chicken, some, urm, white sauce, and a generous helping of lettuce as you can see from that picture. Yup, generous. There is so much lettuce in that picture it's as if there was no chicken at all. Thanks KFC.
Next is the honey bbq one.
Look at that gaping pile of juicy meat just begging to be eaten. Almost sensual. And by sensual I mean infected and a turn off to think about it that way. But we are not here to be turned on (at least not by these things), we are here to eat, and that's what we are going to do.
The honey bbq thing was mine (because I like messes) and the regular one was the lunch of choice for that cute thing sitting next to me that I mentioned earlier.
Mine tasted pretty good. The honey bbq sauce and the chicken mixed pretty well together and left me with not much to complain about. Cute Thing said the regular one was "tasty, tasty. more meat than fry with a well-seasoned peppercorn ranch sauce, properly coupled with just enough lettuce and bread to fill my tiny female belly until my man could take me out to a proper dinner." One thing I noticed was that they were much too small. One is not nearly enough to satisfy any sort of urges you may have to eat. Maybe they should have named these Snacker. Jr's and come out with a bigger version for a bit more money that would actually fill you up.
3.5 cheeses. They tasted really good but just were not big enough for me, and you know me, I like my meat big.
Well it's that time again, time for the Delaware River to rise up in rage and fury and flood the towns of Easton and Phillipsburg. If you have been with us from the beginning you know that back in September of 2004 the river did just that, the first time it had been that high since the 50s (or 60s, I can't remember which). If not you can go take a look at story here and see all the pictures I took last time. 50 or so years from the first time (first time anyone alive now really cares about) to the second time, and now 6 months between the second time to the third. Either something isn't right upstream or God is quite angry that the Pope is dead and has decided to throw some of his wrath at us poor rednecks living out this way. But enough of me talking, lets get to the good stuff, the pictures.
We here at The Message Whore know no bounds. We will break any rule necessary to bring you the hardest hitting news, and as this picture illustrates, not even the fearful yellow police lines are enough to hold us back!
From our vantage point we could see a gas station and a McDonalds. I doubt anyone will be filling up anytime soon at either.
Also take a look at this Bank of America sign and notice the little bit of red left on it. We'll be coming back to that later.
A couple more miscellaneous shots of the flooding:
Wandering around some more we were quite thankful that "The First Christmas Tree" was safe.
Just like last time the free bridge (free as in no toll) between Easton and Phillipsburg had been shut down. The water, which is normally quite low under the bridge was almost over it..
Even the big Rt. 22 bridge which is normally quite high above the river is getting a bit too close for comfort:
Parking lots and streets are covered:
Unfortunately for some cars were just not moved in time:
Luckily for all the beer depot was still safe..
But all around it people were sandbagging their doors expecting the worst:
Walking across the Rt. 22 bridge to check on NJ it seems that the river had been making its way up on them too..
The sun did come out for a brief moment walking back to PA and it reflected quite nicely off the river for this nice shot:
Walking back to the car I took another picture of that Bank of America sign I mentioned earlier.
The red you could see in the first picture is now gone. Seems as though the river is still rising. People were talking about how the river is supposed to peak at 1am tomorrow morning. I guess I'll have to watch the news and find out.
So there you have it. The Message Whore's River Adventure, Part II. Hope you enjoyed it.
Well everyone out there is talking about the death of all these important people so I figured I would do my part to add to it.
Juan Morales. 1948 - 2005.
He taught us the proper was to drink a Corona (with lime), built a pretty snazzy basement that hosted a bunch of parties, showed us how to cook some pretty good Mexican food, provided some nice cars (top of the line Lexus sedans) for driving to Ohio, and a bunch of other good things as well that I am not mentioning here.
5 out of 5 cheeses for this guy. I'll be drinking a Corona for you.
