Week of August 7, 2005

August 11 2005 -- Twosomes? There I was, once again in NYC with my lady pal. Today’s adventure? Middle eastern smoking and middle eastern food right next door to an Islamic center. Terrorism and lung cancer, right next to each other in a convenient package. Perhaps they are using the heathens going to the bar to funnel money into their cause. Us white folk go to a restaurant and hookah lounge to eat their food and smoke their tobacco and they repay us by blowing up our mothers and daughters. Oh, and they give us lung cancer, even the people who don’t smoke will have Peter Jennings fate due to second hand smoke.

Okay, so maybe I went a little too far with that paragraph. Sorry to anyone that I offended. We all know second hand smoke doesn’t cause cancer.

But lets get to what really matters, a new product! That’s why you all came here, right? Or was it an accident? Maybe it was one of those times where you thought “Hey, what the heck is this bookmark? I don’t remember adding it." Maybe you are one of those people that search on MSN for words like whore or addict. It’s true, I check the logs and the searches that people get here with are pretty out there in relation to this site. I guess the name of this site seems to give people some kind of other ideas about the content of this site. Oh well, it’s a good way of getting traffic.

So, what are we reviewing today? Candy! And what kind of candy? Reece’s! Yup, those guys are back at it again with yet another product. If you check the section of this site you’ll see a whole lot of their stuff. They really love throwing everything out there.



There it is. Is it anything fancy? No. Is it anything actually new? No, I really don’t think so either. Would I have taken a second look if it didn’t have that magical “Limited Edition" on the package? Nope. Chocolate and some Reece’s Pieces in it. I feel like I have had this same thing over and over during the past however many years it’s been since ET came out and Reece’s Pieces made their mark on the world. Dumb M&Ms, they could have crushed the competition but they felt like they were too good for a small brown alien. Oops!

So what makes the Reece’s people think they can sell us the same thing over and over again with a new wrapper and a new name? Well, I bet they think that because they know they can sell us the same thing over and over again with a new wrapper and a new name. People are suckers for new things. They’ll buy them because they are new and everyone is a closet consumer whore. At least I am out! I decided to face my fears and come out in the open and let everyone know I’m here, I’m queer, and I will not disappear, I am a consumer whore!

…..

Um, yeah. The shuttle is going 3000 miles an hour right now in it’s landing. That’s pretty intense.

Oh, candy, yeah.. it tastes like a chocolate bar with Reece’s Pieces in it. It was super thin, not much of anything to it. Reminded me of Crunch bar, except not as good. Couldn’t really taste the peanut butter much either. Oh well.

Shuttle just landed. This internet thing sure is fancy, get to watch it all live.

2 cheeses. It’s okay, but just get a Crunch bar, its better. There are some other flavors of these Twosomes, want to know more about it? The Impulsive Buy did a review of the one with Whoppers inside. He gave it a 4 out of 5. He also got the review out a long time before me. I stink.

Posted by LordJezo

August 8 2005 -- Fear Factor.. ololz. Well then.

My mouth feels quite strange right now. I think my brain is getting in the way of what I am eating. They wont accept that they don't taste bad and seem to be sending impulses to the rest of my body screaming out "REJECT THEM! REJECT THEM!" I think I need something to drink to help wash away some of the flavor but in the mean time I will just sit here watching Fox News and eating..



Worms. Larvae. Bugs.



That's right, I am eating maggots. But not just any maggots, BBQ flavored maggots. Just got them in the mail today from a bald boy right outside of Washington, DC. How thoughtful of him, right?

My girlfriend told me "If you eat those I will no longer kiss you." Oh man, an ultimatum! What am I supposed to do? On one hand I have a cute girl who plays video games and watches anime. On the other hand I have a pile of dried maggots in a plastic bag that turn most people's stomach when they simply look at them. Where do my loyalties lay? What should I do? Maggots or a girlfriend to kiss. I think we all know what I am going to choose.

They are a bit disturbing to look at, being that they are maggots and all. If you look closely at them you can still see the tiny little crawly feet things on them. How hardcore is that?

So how do they taste. Well, they are quite crunchy. They are a very light snack, almost like you are eating air. The BBQ flavor is there but it's only a hint. They are not that bad, really. It's just that like I mentioned above my mind wont accept them. Would I eat them again? Sure. I am sure I could get used to them if I had them in large enough quantities.

I think I am going to go drink some Sam Adams now.

3.5 cheeses. Not too bad of a snack.

Posted by LordJezo