Week of May 8, 2005

May 12 2005 -- Meatwad on Concrete Braving the road that is Rt. 287 North here in NJ (okay, not really braving, but braving is more impressive then just driving) I came across this piece of graffiti art a few days ago and knew it had to be shown to the world. Sitting under an underpass at about the 19 mile marker it seems like a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force took it upon himself to spread the joy. Well, I took my camera with me today and pulled over to get a shot of it before it is painted over and lost for good. Here it is:


(Click on the image for the full size version)

I have also noticed a rash of Kosher Graffiti all over 287 as well, and that one I cannot explain at all.

Posted by LordJezo

May 11 2005 -- Springtime for Patboy


Happiness abounds. You can see it in the faces of the children as they walk
down the sun-speckled streets, holding gently to their mother's hand. Mothers
smiling warmly at the cloudless sky, oblivious to the problems of their lives,
distracted from the daily mess of shamefully routine actions that sustain them,
completely ignoring the men walking down the same streets eye-banging
them...could it be?! YES! It's Spring!



Arguably one of the top four seasons, Spring allows all of us suckers stuck
in traffic the facade of contentment by inviting us to roll down our windows and
dangle our arms. But once the window is down and your arm is sufficiently
dangled, one finds that the right hand is suspiciously lonely. It is for this
reason that Iced Coffee drinks were developed. While I have no actual data to
back up anything I'm saying I have confidence that the 78west.com readers are
too damn lazy (thanks in part to the sudden change in temperature) to do any
research of their own. Ergo: people who don't normally drink coffee start
scooping up cups by the armful when it starts to get nice outside. I think it
has something to do with the fact that an adult male looks like an absolute
toolbag walking around lapping melting ice cream off the side of a cone/his
fingers (which he hasn't washed in hours anyway so it makes the ice cream taste
slightly of copper.) Women are constantly being seen with Iced Coffee as
well...but I chalk that mostly up to the whip cream. If Starbucks slapped it on,
how bad could it be for you?!?!?!?!??!


Oy. Speaking of Starbucks, this review was taken from what appears to be its
number one competition these days. I am speaking of Dunkin' Donuts and, if anyone
of note read this review, I'm sure the fact that a fat, dead, mustachio-ed man
was the only thing creeping up on their sales would make Starbucks stock
explode. But Dunkin Donuts has some pretty tasty coffee, especially if you like
to pay in pocket change and hate looking at people with goatees (however, having
someone with a goatee serving you is pretty nice. decorate your studio apartment
with that.) So Dunkin' Donuts has made a Spring (poured over ice) version of
their Winter Coffee Taste Explosion "Chocolate Strawberry Latte."



For those who don't remember Lord Jezo's review of the hot version, it
sucked. My professional Three-to-Four Cup A Day opinion pretty much was with him on
it. And sadly, the cold version suffers from a lot of the same troubles. While
in general, it is much easier for me to stomach an insane amount of sugar with
my java when it is covered in ice cubes (yes and whip cream. guess I'm a big fat
lady.) Perhaps its an admission that Iced Coffee drinks are somewhat less
cut-and-dry, no frills, lets get on with it sort of drink than the hot stuff.
Perhaps its just my attitude toward them, either way, coffee is my Jack Daniels
and Iced Coffee is a Cosmo.


Even when allowing wiggle room for the drink based on the above, I still
couldn't get the whole thing down. Too much flavoring, not enough coffee to make
it taste like anything other than Strawberry Quick covered in whip cream with a
slight bitterness as though I had dipped my coppery fingers in it.



Two Mustachio-ed Icons out of Five

Posted by PatboyX

May 11 2005 -- A death.

Just in case anyone was excited about the third season of Carnivale on HBO, forget it.

HBO canned it.

Bunch of jerks. They throw out totally new plot lines and questions in the final episode of season 2 and now we get nothing.

Sadness.

Posted by LordJezo

May 10 2005 -- New World Order. It's time for a morning review and I am cheating to get it done. Cheating because I am throwing it out there at a moments notice, not going through the editor or putting a ton of thought into it. I am writing it because I need to make up for my lack of other talents and just be able to say I am the first one who has it. Why? Well I don't have the sex apeal that Marvo has or the shineable bald head that Archebaldo has. Heck, I don't even have the depressing lit skills that PatBoyX has. Nope, I am just a plain boring single white guy who spends lots of money on crap so you can all read about it. And by you all I mean the 30 regular users and the couple hundred other people who find themselves here from some totally random searches(not totally SFW so don't click it if you dont check it first).

Anyway, as I was saying, it's time for a review and today I bring you the latest creation by the Coca Cola company, Diet Coke with Splenda. By now everyone knows that aspartame can kill you! and by "know" I mean there are a ton of conspiracy theories out there about that stuff so what better way to capitalize on that fear then to introduce a new soda that happens to not have the killer of many in your soda and instead of a sugar substitute made from real sugar? Now while I am sure that was not the real reason behind coming out with Diet Coke with Splenda it is a whole lot more fun to think that way then just having it be some people around a conference table saying "Hey, how about this Splenda stuff? Lets put that in Diet Coke." No, not as much fun at all as a new world order conspiracy theory. But then again, I bet the Coke company is actually part of that new world order since they are a major aspartame dealer so maybe this is just a way for them to say "Hey, look at us, we care!" when all it really is is just a way for them to get the attention off their real plans, which is to kill off a major part of the population with their Diet Coke poison to make room for the new empire of man who will take the place of those who have died. Or not. Who knows.

So how does it taste? Tastes like Coke I suppose. I don't mind diet or non diet and don't really have a preference over which one I have. I do have to say that it does taste better then original Diet Coke with the fake sugar stuff and I would much rather be drinking this then the old version, but being that I am not a big fan of cola soda I tested it out on a few other people. Archebaldo says "Tastes like Diet Coke with lemon without the nasty flavor. It's not bad but Pepsi one with Splenda is better. Still prefer regular Coke over everything." My mother said "Oh, I like it." Father said "Much better then normal Diet Coke, there isn't that bad aftertaste." Sounds pretty positive to me.

I think Coke will push this one harder then some of there others and might eventually replace the old one with it, but then again people fear change and I doubt they will be ever to get rid of the aspartame version, too many people will complain.

4 cheeses because its much better then old Diet Coke.

Posted by LordJezo

May 8 2005 -- Yawn. For this next review I traveled across 2 states and had 3 different people try it. We all came to the same conclusion. But what is that conclusion? I guess you will have to read and find out.



Kellogg's Fruit Streamers.

How exciting looking! Rainbow of colors and fruit all over the place. Kellogg's Streamers look like they would be exciting, For some reason the picture on the cover is missing the red streamer, must be a racial thing.



There it is in all it's glory, a bunch of little string things of candy in one big roll of fun. But one can one do with it?? Well I am not really sure, eat it, I guess, but what fun is that? I was thinking maybe you could wear it around your next and hang out in San Francisco or New Hope, but then it might get a bit sticky once it starts to melt, and that might be a little less fun then you had hoped for.

Unrolling it you get something that looks like this.



It's a few feet long and looks like it would be a good fun candy to eat, especially in that last picture. But I am having a really hard time with this review. It has to be one of the more boring things I have eaten in a long time. The candy itself tastes like nothing, and everyone who tried it said the same thing. All the different colors? They all taste like the same nothing. I tried eating one unrolled, rolled up, and one with the different colors split apart. Nothing. I was eating some kind of fake nonsense. The instant you are done with the candy the flavor is completely gone and you are left wondering if you actually ate anything. I did notice that on the front of the box was that familiar message that this candy is a good source of vitamin c. Instead of the normal 10% that we see in everything else here we find it kicked up to 25%. So at least you will have that.

I really wish I had some more to write about this stuff but it really is boring.

2 cheeses because at least you get some vitamin c out of the deal. But now that I am thinking about it I would much rather have a glass of OJ. One cheese. Stay away. The conclusion here is that it stinks.

Posted by LordJezo