The Message Whore

I first came across Yoplait Whips on Youtube. I was watching the Funimation sponsored/hosted episodes of Ouran Host Club. Ouran Host Club (or HSC) is amazing–if you’re a girl. Which is why a Yoplait Whips commercial prefaced each episode. Even though it was slightly irritating to sit through each commercial (episodes are only about 20 minutes and one seems to fly through them) I found myself thinking: wow, these look yummy delicious.

If you’re unfamiliar with Yoplait Whips, it’s a fluffy yogurt that can be magically transformed in the freezer. It’s like having frozen yogurt without having to buy it from the freezer aisle at the supermarket. And unless you make shakes, it’s pretty hard to get through an entire pint of frozen yogurt.

I tried the following Yoplait Whips flavors:

Vanilla Creme: I’m a sucker for plain vanilla. Don’t ask why. This one is delicious in a subtle way.

Peaches and Creme: Since I loved the 411 song way back in the day, I was certain I’d love this one too. Reminds me of canned peaches. Yummy!

They also have Raspberry Mousse, Chocolate, Chocolate Raspberry, Dulce de Leche, Key Lime Pie, Lemon Meringue, Orange Creme, and Strawberry Mist.

Hopefully they expand the line and include a Strawberry Banana (my fave. yogurt flavor).

Check the website, there is a coupon for a free yogurt! For only 0.69 cents, you can try all the flavors without your wallet getting light.

Whoops, too many cheeses, edited 8/6 ~ LordJezo

4 out of 5 cheeses.

But here is the million dollar question, what happens to the “active cultures” in the yogurt when you freeze it?

After a few days of cleaning I have finally got the site back on the good boy list over at Google. If you hadn’t noticed, starting sometime last week, I think, some Russians hacked the site and injected a bunch of bad code into my pages. Google didn’t like that and put us on the bad website list and prevented people from coming. Sucked. But, after a few hours of clean up and rooting out all the malicious content, we’re back. Might not be back and better than ever, but at least we are back.

Yeah, that’s right, USA wins again.

So I got myself a Google Voice account.

Anyone want to call me and leave me a message? Not really sure how this thing works but yeah, push that button and it supposedly will ring my voice mail.

You enter your phone number into the box, you can keep it private from me if you want, and then push the button. Then it will ring your personal phone and from there connect to my Google Voice account.

Someone try it so I can see if it works. Now I can hear from all of my dedicated fans, or at least the remaining spam bots that traverse this place looking to ruin my comment section.

I love Twix. I love peanut butter and chocolate. And most importantly, I love mysteriously engineered sugar substitutes.

Twix PB. The splattered lettering of the “PB” is to prepare you for how extreme this new flavor of Twix will be. The description of the product below the Twix logo reminds of an old MS Word font.

It feels like a regular Twix when you hold it and tastes like peanut butter and chocolate when you bite into it. The absence of caramel and wafer is awkward at first, but this is an entirely new thing. It tastes kind of tastes like Reese’s, so it you like that you may like these. They are somewhat hard to find, I found this one at a Staples.

I give them 3 ½ cheeses for being tasty, but not revolutionary.

Ad on youtube

Whenever I find myself at a Wal-Mart, which is about once a month, I am overwhelmed with a desire to seek out the latest and greatest in snack foods. Last night, I was drawn to the latest and greatest in dip-integrated nacho technology…

Doritos Late Night Tacos at Midnight. The flavor is actually a subflavor of the new Doritos “Late Night” series. The other subflavor is “Last Call Jalapeño Popper” and is not in this review. This flavor isn’t exactly new, we here at TMW are not the first to review it.

The product tastes almost exactly as one would expect. It actually tastes good. There is a little too much taco shell and ground beef taste and not as much emphasis on the cheese taste to remind you that these aren’t just any old Doritos.

This is what they look like in real life and close up. Just like the regular Doritos we know and love, just slightly modernized with taco seasonin’ flavor. The taco seasoned Doritos are good if you love tacos, but just can’t seem to find the time in this world any more to make or buy tacos.

I give the product five out of five failed Doritos flavors. You’ll probably like it if you like Doritos.

Sonic, America’s Drive-In
The whole menu, click on it for full size image

Twelve open lanes of Sonic

A mint with your drink to remove any doubt that you are not at a classy dining establishment

The more traditional drive-thru option

The SuperSonic Cheeseburger (#2)
As it appears on the menu

As it appears in reality

Amazing fast food burger
Fries, which are an amazing combination of McDonald’s and Burger King

Nicely sized onion ring

Cheese-injected jalapeño popper

Tater-tots covered in cheese covered in bacon

Sonic’s new breakfast option

There were no roller-skates, just regular walking waiters. You press the red button (see the second picture) and you’re put on a drive-thruesque speakerphone where you order your food. Good food, when I arrived at about 5:00 in the evening on a Saturday, there were only two other cars, so good service then.

Rating: 4 and a half voices of a generation. The food and service were both good. The fact that there are so few locations is what makes Sonic lose the half.

We are back from Japan, the magical place of restaurants that put you in jail cells and the waitresses are all nurses.

Stay tuned for exciting Japanese product reviews and fun new products that will never see the light of day in America.

We are off to Japan for a couple of weeks to see the sakura and eat sushi so until we return be sure to help our city grow..

Skenntopia

Just in case..

Your mom’s box.

Every good thing this world has ever seen has come from nature. Sure, man has created a couple of neat things along the way but the old standard still is the best. But everyone wants something new sometimes, even us addicts. So there I was, strolling through the aisles of my supermarket while taking a break from writing a report back to Interzone for something to feed the hunger when I stumbled upon the latest and greatest product put in front of me as a thing of nature.

Truvia

Truvia? What?

Stevia is a plant (specifically, a member of the chrysanthemum family) native to portions of northeastern Paraguay. It has been used to sweeten foods and beverages for more than 200 years.

Well that’s all nice and good, but of course everything has to have it’s detractors, in this case it was world governments. It’s banned in Europe and early studies have shown it to be a mutagen but that might be part of a larger controversy of the FDA banning it to protect other companies from being pushed out of the market by this natural substance.

Enough with the serious stuff, lets get down to business.

With the product purchased I rushed home and before I even put on Steely Dan for my evening conversation with my dog I ripped open a packed and dipped my tongue in to see if I would have any sweet sensations or hot temptations.

I was treated instead to a flavor not so much like sugar but instead more like a NutraSweet or a Equal. Well, it’s not supposed to be really taken straight so I mixed some in with my iced tea. Not so bad, Truvia mixed in the bitterness is taken away and the tea is sweetened quite well.

I will give this stuff a 2.5 cheese for right now. It’s so new that only trying it twice is not going to give me a really firm opinion on it or if I want to switch away from Spelnda for it. Truvia is new but it’s also so new that I feel like it might end up like the makeup from one of the finest pieces of cinema in history. I’ll keep using it, at least if something happens I will have this as a record as to what happened.

It’s Valentine’s day, and you know what that means. If I play my cards right me and my best gal will be spending some quality time with each other and get a hell of a workout. I can’t wait. There are 12 hours left in the day I can fit in a whole lot of love in that time span.

But with all of the sweating that is going to be going on how am I going to replenish my bodily fluids that are going to be spilled all over the place? I could drinking Gatorade but why would I want to take in all of that sugar? I had to get myself in shape just to be able to get the sort of action that I will be getting today so what good would drinking all of those useless calories do me if it will just make me fat? If only there was a way to replenish my electrolytes with out also replenishing my gut..

In comes Powerade Zero.

Not to be outdone by Pepsi and their low calorie Gatorade G2 the folks over at Coke have come out with a zero calorie sports drink to fuel us up when we push ourselves to the limit. Gatorade could have had something going but the product they made tasted like garbage so we here at the TMW laboratories never went back for more. Being that we are incredibly health conscious just imagine how excited we were when we saw a billboard along the highway for Powerade Zero a couple of weeks ago. Would this amazing new product be what we needed to quench our thirst on a day like today or would be another terrible tasting diet drink like all the rest. Let’s find out.

As discussed earlier in this article, today is a very special day filled with love and adoration for the person you are most intimate with. Since I spend just about every second of the day with that person I have had quite the workout already today and if I hope to keep my legendary stamina I am going to need a drink that will keep from passing out due to dehydration. I wonder if Powerade Zero will be that drink.

I started with the blue flavor because everyone knows blue is the best. Being that blue is a flavor not quite found in nature I had little to base what it should taste like other than it’s color, and it succeeded in making itself taste like it should. No bad aftertaste and it went down smooth. The taste of Powerade Zero blue is similar to what regular Powerade Blue taste likes, just a little more watery. Being that it’s a zero calorie drink and I was expecting the worst this isn’t bad at all.

Next up is Strawberry. This one tastes a bit less like it’s advertised name but still isn’t too terrible. It has a strawberry juice feel to it. Slight aftertaste but if you are a diet anything drinker you shouldn’t notice much wrong.

We’ll go with four cheese on these guys. As I have sat here drinking them for the past hour while writing this up I feel satisfied inside, no longer thirsty from the events of earlier. Now if you will please excuse me I have some important business attend to, a special someone is calling me back and I cannot let them down.